Choices
by Aliora
Summary: In which Matsumoto is wise, Hitsugaya reflects, and Orihime sums up everything quite nicely. Tenth Division friendship fic. [COMPLETE]


Set in the mid-200 chapter zone, I'd say 220 for safety's sake. No blatant spoilers, but Hitsugaya and Matsumoto are hanging out at Orihime's house. Enjoy!

_Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.  
-- Jacques Delille_

- - -

"I don't mean to leave you here all alone and like I said, you can definitely come to the supermarket with me, and we could pretend it's a mission of justice in which we're required to protect the innocent customers who are going about their daily business in absolute ignorance, completely unaware of the danger that lurks above us – around us! – and the eyes that follow our every move, the diabolical plots that are set against us, the –" Orihime paused, her eyes glazing over, presumably imagining a dire future in which robot overlords terrorised the scant remnants of the human race. Matsumoto bit her lip to keep from smiling too broadly at the younger girl's unnecessary worry.

"It will be fine, Orihime-chan," she reassured her gently. "I'm quite capable of looking after the house."

"ARE YOU?!" cried Orihime, reaching out and gripping Matsumoto's shoulders, shaking her in a fit of passionate concern. "What if a burglar comes and wants to steal the microwave? You have to let him, Rangiku-san! Don't fight him - it's not worth it. Microwaves can be replaced." She leaned forward, her expression serious. "But people _can't_ be. Don't put yourself in danger, just for an appliance."

Matsumoto blinked. "I'll keep that in mind." She resisted the urge to envelop the girl in a big bear hug – her fretful nature was almost too adorable – and tried to keep the amusement from her face. "Besides, Taicho is here too, remember? On the off-chance of a microwave bandit appearing, I guarantee you that Hitsugaya-taicho will be able to…uh…dissuade him from taking yours."

Orihime sighed in relief. "Ah, of course. I don't see Hitsugaya-san very much, so sometimes I forget he's here." She glanced up at the ceiling, troubled. "Is he okay, Rangiku-san? He hardly comes down from the roof at all."

_Is he okay?_ Matsumoto was wondering much the same thing. He'd just gone through what was possibly the most trying experience of his young life. True to form, he wasn't saying anything on the subject, and she knew for certain he'd never talk about himself willingly. Perhaps it was time to take matters into her own hands.

"Rangiku-san?"

Orihime was still waiting on her response. Smiling, Matsumoto waved the issue aside. "Ah, Orihime-chan, don't worry about it. He's our commanding officer, you see, and there's a lot on his mind." She took Orihime by the shoulders and chivvied her out the door. "Off you go, now. I don't want to keep you."

The girl gave her a long look before nodding, and Matsumoto waved as she set off down the stairs, waiting outside until she was out of sight. Letting herself back into the apartment, she leaned against the closed door and considered her options. Her gaze slid to the ceiling and she eyed it doubtfully for a moment before straightening and moving to the fridge, opening it and scanning for something that might serve as a peace offering of sorts. Hitsugaya professed to not liking sweet things (she secretly thought it was all façade, and he just pretended to dislike them in order to appear more manly and tough) and so the laden shelves of sweet bean products were automatically out of the question. Peanut butter – well, that was no good on its own, spring onion – not much she could do with that, and…ah _hah._

Reaching in, she retrieved the package of plain onigiri with a triumphant flourish, stuffing it into the pocket of her borrowed jeans before letting herself out again and making her way to the roof. Orihime might have a penchant to over-dramatise things, but she was absolutely right in one regard – Hitsugaya _hadn't_ come down from the roof in days.

Granted, he had always tended towards being anti-social, and she had a feeling his emotions were just as stunted as his height; but he was more withdrawn than usual and it was her duty as a fukutaicho to get to the bottom of things.

_Besides_, she thought, a little sadly, moving quickly up the fire escape and stepping onto the roof, _I'm the closest thing he has to a friend right now._

- - -

Hitsugaya didn't care for the human world very much. In Soul Society, he was respected by means of his rank and power. He was fully aware of the opinions that stubbornly tended to float about, but at least he'd proven he'd won the captaincy of the Tenth Division through his capability and skill. There, he was accepted, even if his height and age were still the cause of some discussion.

Here, however…here, he had nothing. He'd lived as long as his entire homeroom class put together, and yet he was still looked down upon, pointed at, eyed with disbelief. "Surely, he's an elementary student?" someone had whispered on their first day at the High School. He couldn't retaliate here (not that he would have offered violence in Soul Society, but still!) because he had no rights, no authority, and in the eyes of the humans, he was so insignificant as to not even count.

It frustrated him.

He was fortunate, he supposed, that Orihime had agreed to take them in. No realtor would accept him as a prospective tenant, and he refused to even consider giving Ikkaku – who looked the oldest – the authority to find a place. So they were forced to rely on the kindness of their human comrades.

If that was even the right word.

What were they, these people? Kurosaki Ichigo, Ishida, Orihime, Chad? Each gifted with power in their own way, every one of them human and yet other, having gone to Soul Society and emerging (relatively) unscathed on the other side. And now they were caught up in battle once more, forced to take up arms again, against an enemy that had taken root in Soul Society and spread like an insidious poison out to threaten the world.

Not suspecting Aizen still smarted. All of Soul Society had been in his thrall, but Hitsugaya still blamed himself, still thought _I should have known, I should have guessed_. He'd had his suspicions with Ichimaru, and while there'd always been a niggling sense of _something_ at the back of his mind, he'd ignored it, avoided it. He'd considered it childish to dislike the man, immature to not care for him for his own selfish reasons. He should have known, but he didn't, and because of that, Hinamori had to suffer.

He tightened his hold on Hyourinmaru and leaned back against the railing, tilting his head up and staring straight into the sky. Hinamori. She was half the reason he'd asked to join this mission; he'd needed to get away from her still, accusing body, needed to distance himself from the hurt he could sense circling through her room like a palpable force. He had no way to fix her, no miracle power to turn back time and put it all to rights, to make everything the way it had been _before_. So he left it behind, left _her_ behind, and came to the human world where he'd hoped – foolishly – he could make some kind of difference.

Watching the clouds drift slowly across his field of vision, he let his head drop onto his shoulder. Leaving Hinamori had only been half the reason. The other half was to make sure the group didn't do anything stupid, and to keep an eye on –

"Taicho!"

He flew into a crouch before his mind registered that there was no cause for alarm. Matsumoto was standing on the roof across from him, an amused expression on her face as she eyed his fighting stance.

He relaxed and frowned at her. "Matsumoto. What's wrong?"

She fumbled awkwardly in the pocket of the tight pants she'd borrowed from Orihime, wriggling for a moment before withdrawing a squashed green package. "Here." She walked closer and proffered the lumpy package, ignoring the doubtful look he gave the thing. "It's onigiri." She shoved it forcibly into his hand and took a seat on the ground, back against the wall where he'd been sitting before she'd interrupted him.

Sweeping the area with a cursory glance, he joined her on the cement and held the package up for closer inspection. It was adhered together with a sticky substance, and he wasn't quite sure how to open it to get at the rice that was (supposedly) inside. "I'm not hungry," he said eventually, placing the packet on the ground between them.

Matsumoto gave him a look. "Mmm hmm," she said, settling back against the wall and shifting until she reached a more comfortable position. "I just thought I'd give it to you in case you did want something." She paused. "Orihime-chan is worried about you."

Hitsugaya felt his jaw set and looked away. "We're no concern of hers," he told her bluntly. "It's bad enough that we're trespassing on her hospitality for the time being. Perhaps we should find somewhere else to stay."

Matsumoto pouted. "I don't want to leave." She brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "It's...nice, being here with Orihime-chan. She's like a little sister."

Hitsugaya rolled his eyes. "A sister? How long have you known her, a couple of weeks? A month? You shouldn't give your affections so lightly, Matsumoto. You'll only end up getting hurt in the end."

She said nothing for a long moment, a light breeze picking its way across the roof, teasing a strand of her hair out until it brushed against his cheek. Turning, she gave him a small smile, which made him frown back at her in surprise, as if that would somehow compensate for whatever enjoyment she found in his words or their situation, an enjoyment he couldn't comprehend.

"Is that what you think?" she surprised him by saying. "Is that why you try too hard and lock your emotions away? You're afraid that if you invest your feelings in someone, they'll betray you?" She looked thoughtful. "That would explain a lot."

"That's—that's not what I meant!" He stood abruptly and glowered down at her, fists clenching as he tried to keep his sudden anger in check. "You don't take things seriously enough." He ignored the fact she was being oddly serious now. "You're too accepting." She'd accepted his leadership far more easily than anyone else. "And you couldn't possibly know how I feel."

Their eyes met and he looked away first, strangely uncomfortable by what he saw in her gaze. Her smile hadn't disappeared entirely, but there was something sad about it now, something old and weary that just didn't seem right. Matsumoto was the young one, really. She'd always been bigger and louder but she'd never been _older_ before. He found he didn't like this reversal; it just wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"You're right, of course." She got to her feet slowly, brushing the dirt off her bottom and stretching her back. "Taicho." She bent and picked up the onigiri, tugging at the edges of the wrapper until a fold came apart with a sticky, snapping sound of protest. "But you weren't the only one who was betrayed."

She met his eyes again and they burned this time, as hard and hot as the edges of Haneiko in a fight. He recalled a rumour he'd heard once about her and Ichimaru Gin, and wondered, for the first time, how she had become the person she was today.

Another snapping noise and the wrapping was completely open. She held out the onigiri again and he took it mutely, accepting it for what it was – sustenance, a peace offering, and a token of a friend's concern.

"Matsumoto--" he started, but she cut him off with a flap of her hair, turning to the railing and leaning over it, resting her chest on her forearms as she looked out over the crowded streets.

"The heart is a funny thing," she said thoughtfully, tilting her head. "We think it's fragile, and so we want to protect it. We think it will break at the slightest thing." She glanced over her shoulder and smiled comfortingly, warmly. "But it's stronger than we think, Taicho. It might get bruised and beaten up a bit, but that doesn't mean we should stop caring, or that we should never let other people into our lives."

He glanced down at the onigiri, misshapen now, slightly crumbled from being shoved into her pocket. Maybe she had a point.

Pushing back off the railing, she turned again, reaching out to brush her fingers through his hair. "We lose our family when we go to Soul Society," she told him carefully, leaning over slightly to better meet his eyes, "but that's a blessing in its own way, because it lets us make a new family of our own. It lets us choose who we want to be with and who we want to let into our hearts." Chucking him under the chin, she winked and moved back to the stairs, speaking over her shoulder. "Getting hurt by who we choose to love might sting, but at least we get the freedom to choose." She waved as she disappeared down the fire escape, leaving Hitsugaya alone with his thoughts again.

Picking up one of the clumps of rice, he brought it to his mouth and chewed slowly, carefully, just in case. It was plain, but surprisingly satisfying, and he ate another piece, and then another. It was strange how his appetite had returned, strange how much better he felt after talking to Matsumoto.

Maybe it was time to start accepting that there were things he could and couldn't do. Wishing himself mature didn't automatically mean he was capable of dealing with everything life threw at him. He could do what he could, and the rest...

Well, it was high time he learned the art of delegation anyway.

Finishing the onigiri, he folded the wrapper and stuck it in his pocket. They were all in this together. After all, no one had forced him to take this mission. He'd chosen it of his own free will, and so had everyone else.

- - -

Orihime let herself in, her arms heavy with packages. She'd let her thoughts wander on the way to the shops and had completely forgotten about whatever issues Rangiku and Hitsugaya were needing to work out.

So when a frowning Shinigami captain met her at the door, taking the groceries without a word...well, she was more than a little surprised. She followed him into the kitchen, stammering her thanks as he put the parcels on the counter for her. She even ignored the way he had to stand on tippy-toes to get them there.

"Don't mention it," he told her brusquely, going into the living area and sitting down next to Matsumoto, his back ramrod straight.

Smiling, Orihime went back into the kitchen, taking care of the perishables but leaving the rest in the bags. It was her duty to get them sorted as soon as possible, in case Hitsugaya took it upon himself to go into hiding again.

"I'm glad you chose to join us, Hitsugaya-kun," she told him happily, kneeling down beside him and trying to send welcoming vibes.

His eyes slid to the side. "Yes, well."

Orihime increased the force of her vibes. "And oh, it's perfect timing." She clapped her hands delightedly. "You see, I ran into Ishida-kun at the grocery store, only he was buying ribbons, not groceries, and I bought ribbon cabbage, which is a coincidence, but you can't sew with cabbages..." She frowned. "Well, I suppose you could, but I'm not sure how long it would last. Anyway, he mentioned something about fireworks this evening and then we saw Sado-kun and I invited him which made Ishida-kun angry, I think, but Sado said he could and would talk to Kurosaki-kun and I think you should both come as well!" She nodded fiercely. "Yes, most definitely come."

Hitsugaya only blinked at her but Matsumoto reached over and squashed her into a circle of arms and breasts. "Oh, Orihime-chan," she cried. "Of course we will! You are simply too cute to refuse." Releasing her, Matsumoto winked at Hitsugaya. "Just like you, Taicho."

He bristled but didn't say anything, so Orihime took that as a yes.

"Great!" she said, getting to her feet and making a concentrated fist. "We can all go together like one big Soul Society family!"

Matsumoto eyed her curiously. "What do you mean, Orihime-chan? A family?"

Orihime blushed. "Well, um, everyone who's there will have been brought together by Soul Society, right? You two were together there, and Kuchiki-san and Abarai-kun were friends, and then Kuchiki-san met Kurosaki-kun and through him we met you..." she paused for a moment. "Soul Society is the reason we're friends now, and through our experiences there, we've kind of become a family."

"A family," Hitsugaya echoed. He gave Matsumoto an unreadable look.

"Well said, Orihime-chan!" Matsumoto gave her a thumbs-up before leaning back on her elbows. "More importantly, will there be any sake to be found at this fireworks thing?"

Hitsugaya sighed. "I'm not carrying you back here, you know?"

"I didn't ask you to," Matsumoto countered. "I'm sure I could convince any number of agreeable young men to escort me back here should I – and this is _highly_ unlikely – drink more than I can handle."

"Tch," said Hitsugaya. "You're too careless."

"And you're too careful!"

"I'm prudent. And someone has to keep the mission objective in mind."

"Are you saying I'm ignoring the mission?"

Orihime smiled again and left them to their banter, going back into the kitchen and putting away the rest of the groceries. It was nice having the house so lively again; it hadn't seen this much happiness since her brother had died.

And she'd been telling the truth. It _was_ like being a family again. They weren't related by blood, but the bonds of experience kept them all together, and those bonds were as strong as any. If not stronger.

"Ow, what are you doing? No, get them away from me! No – urgh!"

Peeking out, Orihime saw that Matsumoto was hugging Hitsugaya much the same way the older woman had hugged her before. Humming under her breath, she turned back to the kitching and started laying out the ingredients for the evening's dinner. It was heartening to see how close the two were, and, if she was honest, it brought a tear to her eye as well.

A celebratory dinner, she thought, in honour of the bond of teamship between Hitsugaya and Matsumoto! She'd create a wonderful dish to commemorate their friendship, and work into it vibes of peace, welcoming, and above all, love!

Setting aside a tin of sweet bean paste, she wondered what to add to it. There was peanut butter in the fridge, and she had a spring onion somewhere...

Humming again, she went to work. Tonight was going to be fun.

- - -

First foray into the _Bleach_ world – hope it goes down okay! Thanks to blackestfaery and DarkenedSakura for reading over this – you guys make my life a whole lot easier, and thanks also to everyone who has checked this out here and on lj. Cheers!


End file.
